Although numerous Muslims may right now remain in failing marriages and on a fast track to divorce and its horrible effects, there are many manner ins which to put their marriage back on the right track if the husband and wife are genuine in their desire to reconcile. The following principles can be utilized by Muslims whose marital relationships are currently in trouble or by Muslims who wish to avoid trouble in their marriage.
Lots of Muslim husbands and wives deal with each other like foes instead of partners. The spouse feels that he is in charge, and whatever he states goes. The better half feels that she must squeeze everything she can out of her partner. Some wives never reveal their partner that they are pleased with anything he does or buys for them in order to trick him into doing and purchasing more. They make him seem like a failure if he does not give them the way of life that their family and friends take pleasure in. Some other halves speak very roughly to their better halves, humiliate them, as well as physically abuse them. Their better halves have no voice or viewpoint in the family.
Marital relationship In The Eyes of Allah
It is very sad that this relationship which Allah has developed for the good has been made a source of contention, deception, trickery, tyranny, humiliation, and abuse. This is not the method marriage is supposed to be.
Allah explained marital relationship very differently in the Holy Quran: ‘… He developed for you mates from amongst yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts) …” (Holy Quran 30:21, Yusuf Ali Translation).
1. Do not be an Autocrat
Regardless of whether Islam has actually made the spouse the head of the home, Muslims are not supposed to be dictators and autocrats. We are taught to treat our spouses well. The Prophet Muhammad (SAWS) was reported to have actually stated: ‘The most best Muslim in the matter of faith is one who has excellent habits; and the very best among you are those who behave best to their spouses” (From Mishkat al-Masabih, No. 0278( R) Sent by Tirmidhi).
2. Be Partners in the Decision Making Process
Follow the principle of ‘Shura,” and deciding as a household. There will be a lot more consistency in the family when decisions are not enforced and everyone feels that they had some part in making them.
3. Never be Emotionally
Never ever be psychologically, mentally, or physically violent to your spouse1. The Prophet, peace and true blessings be upon him, never ever maltreated his partners. He is reported to have stated: ‘How could they beat their ladies in daytime as slaves and then sleep with them in the night?”
4. Beware of Your Words
Be very cautious exactly what you state when you are upset. Sometimes you will state traits that you would never say when you were not angry. If you are angry, wait till you relax prior to continuing the discussion.
5. Show Affection
Program affection for your mate. Be kind, mild, and caring.
5. Be Your Spouse’s Buddy
Show interest in your mate’s life. Frequently, we reside in the exact same home however know nothing about each other’s lives. It would be fantastic if the couple could interact for the same cause or on the same job. They could maybe develop a husband/wife jail ministry, look after orphans in their home, or lead an Islamic weekend class.
6. Show Appreciation
Show appreciation for what your partner does for the household. Never make your hubby feel that he is refraining from doing sufficient for the household or that you are not satisfied with his work or his efforts, unless, naturally, he is truly lazy and not even attempting to offer the family. The Prophet (SAWS) was reported to have actually said: ‘On the Day of Judgment, God will not look upon the female who has been ungrateful to her hubby.” (where is this hadith found) Program your other half that you appreciate her. If she looks after your house and the children, don’t take it for granted. It is hard work, and nobody prefers to feel unappreciated.
7. Collaborate in your house
The Prophet is understood to have actually assisted his other halves in your house. And if the Prophet (SAWS) was not above doing household chores, modern-day Muslim husbands should not feel that they are.
8. Communication is essential
Interaction, Interaction, Interaction! This is the huge word in therapy. And it must be. Husbands and wives need to talk with each other. It is much better to handle issues early and truthfully than to let them accumulate till a surge happens.
9. Forget Past Issues
Do not raise past problems once they have been fixed
10. Live Simply
Do not be jealous of those who seem to be living a more elegant life than your family. The ‘rizq” is from Allah (SWT). In order to develop the quality of satisfaction, look at those people who have less than you, not those who have more. Thank Allah (SWT) for the many true blessings in your life.
11. Offer Your Partner Time Alone
If your mate doesn’t want to be with you all the time, it does not indicate she or he doesn’t like you. People need to be alone for numerous factors. Often they want to check out, to consider their problems, or simply to unwind. Don’t make them feel that they are dedicating a sin.
12. Confess Your Errors
When you slip up, admit it. When your mate slips up, reason them quickly. If possible, never ever falling asleep upset with each other.
13. Physical Relationship is Important
Be readily available to your mate sexually, and do not let your sexual relationship be defined by selfishness. The Prophet was reported to have said: ‘It is not appropriate that you fall upon your better halves like a monster but you must send out a message of love in advance.”
14. Have Meals Together
Aim to eat together as a family when possible. Show the cook and the dishwasher, whether it is the spouse or the wife, gratitude for his or her efforts. The Prophet did not complain about food that was put before him.
15. Be Mindful of Your conversation Topics
Never ever discuss with others things about your marriage that your spouse would not like you to discuss, unless there is an Islamic reason to do so. Some couples, think it or not, complain to others about their mate’s physical appearance. This is a dish for disaster. Details about your intimate relations need to be kept in between you and your spouse.
Much of us treat our partners in ways that we would never treat others. With others, we try to be courteous, kind, and client. With our spouses, we frequently do disappoint these courtesies. Naturally, we are normally with our partners at our worst times– when we are worn out and disappointed after a tough day. After a bad day at the workplace, partners normally get home upset and on edge. The other half has most likely also had a hard day with the children and the household chores. Wives and spouses ought to discuss this possible time bomb so that if they are short-fused with each other during these times, they will comprehend the factors rather than automatically believing that their partner not likes them.
Happy Muslim Marriage require persistence, generosity, humbleness, sacrifice, empathy, love, understanding, forgiveness, and effort. Following these concepts should help any marital relationship to enhance. The essence of them all can be summarized in one sentence: Constantly treat your partner the way you wish to be treated. If you follow this guideline, your marital relationship will have a much higher possibility for success. If you discard this guideline, failure is just around the corner.